“I don’t necessarily believe in a meaning of life but in moments that I remember what life is.”
Rory Raymer, a hopeless romantic and lover of the arts, believes the only meaning to life is chaos and coincidence.
She describes the serendipity of chance: “I feel most alive – like there has to be a reason we’re here – when meeting someone who changes your life in the most random little way.” This can be as small as bumping into someone on the subway or exchanging coincidental shared experiences with your loved one at the dinner table.
Despite these minor acts of balanced fate, Rory also vouches for the elegant disorder of life: “At the same time, I think that an undone puzzle or the busyness of Times Square or a mall or a grocery store parking lot on a Sunday—that’s what life is.”
She elaborates that “It’s all these things that came into perfect harmony, and it’s all a coincidence, but it happened in complete and total chaos, and there really is no order, though we as humans try to give it order.”
Rory places high value on being part of what brings meaning to the lives of others. Her favorite quote was found in one of the early chapters of The Great Gatsby. Though she doesn’t recall the exact quote, “It says that when Daisy talks to you, it feels like you are the only person in the world.” That’s what Rory lives life by.
“Any time I go into a conversation with someone, I want them to feel like they are the only thing I care about in that moment, that they’re my number one priority and what they have to say matters.” Rory genuinely cares about bringing this mindset to her every interaction, and she wishes everyone would too. She notes that “Although Daisy ends up being the worst, that part of her is really beautiful.”
Because of this approach, Rory is somebody that most people feel comfortable around: “I can walk into a room without knowing anybody there, and by the time I leave, I know all of their life stories, and I’ve helped them get through whatever it is that’s hurting them the most right now.”
She knows this now, but she didn’t recognize this gift for what it is until she was volunteering at an after-school program for elementary school kids. There, the volunteers would play sports with the kids, race in Mario Kart, or build dollhouses. At the end of one night, she was speaking to her best friend who also volunteered there. The friend discussed the game of kickball she played and the kids announcing what color Legos they wanted to build with, causing Rory to reflect on the contrast of the conversations she had instead.
While the other kids were playing, Rory was dealing with crying children who told her they were dealing with serious bullying at school. Another child confessed that he was feeling worthless because he wasn’t the smartest one in his math class anymore. As kids revealed their concerns, Rory helped them work through it – it seemed as if they just gravitated towards her.
Since that moment, Rory’s been more aware that this is an aspect of her identity – “It happens to me probably every day.”
But sometimes, this skill requires putting aside her own feelings. The first time Rory was heartbroken was in fourth grade, when she went to an incredibly small Catholic school with only 20 people in her grade (so small that the school is soon being shut down). She had a big crush on a boy since second grade.
On the playground, he was always the apple of her eye: “All the games where I would play in the yard where I was a pirate, orphan, princess, fighting my way through the royal class as I worked my way up from kitchen-hand to marrying this prince. It was always him.”
As she started to get close to him, they would argue over what school she’d be attending next. “You should come with me,” he told her.
One day, they stayed after school together for a sports program. She describes the moment: “If you were watching a movie about two little kids in a cute little romance, this was the scene in the trailer. Perfect.”
While they walked back indoors, he whispered into her ear, “Rory, can I tell you a secret?”
Rory was ecstatic. I’ve got it, she thought. This is the big moment.
But instead the boy told her he was dating another girl in the grade. “You can’t tell anybody,” he insisted. “It’s a really big secret.”
Rory was crushed. “That was the first time I had to hide my true feelings to support a close friend.” Now, she continues to be a source of support for people.
When life grows tough, Rory still drags herself out of bed every morning to get things done. She reasons that “From the moment I was born, all of the countless cells in my body have devoted every waking moment of their time and energy to keeping me alive and healthy. I have armies of cells, and all they care about is me.”
Rory uses this as motivation to work and thrive every single day. She states that “Even when it feels like there might be nothing else in the world worth getting up for, the least you can do for your body and these billions of living organisms that have devoted themselves to you is get up, live life to the fullest, and make what you’re doing worthwhile.”
About Rory
A typical girl: passionate about her perm, scared of moths, lover of the arts and all things learning, a hopeless romantic with serious commitment issues, and a connoisseur of grocery store tiramisu
Between the Lines 