“It’s one of the only memories I have of him.”
Elliott, an aspiring engineer, recounts the time he would learn about life while fishing with his grandfather.
He doesn’t remember much about his grandfather or the time they would spend together back when Elliott was a young boy. But he does remember the fishing. “He would take me to the dock, and we’d get the chairs out. I’d sit in my little chair, he’d sit in his big chair, and he’d tell me about life. He’d always remind me to respect women and take life on full force.”
From their moments fishing, Elliott would learn not only about important moral guidelines but also about the value of perspective—and this lesson all starts with a worm.
“I learned that worms aren’t gross—they’re only gross if you think they’re gross. It’s all about perspective.” This is a realization he’s extended to the rest of his life. “If something is scary or awkward, it’s because you think it is. Sometimes, so-called awkward situations only seem so because you’re making them awkward in your head. And that can cause the situation to become awkward.” Being conscious of how you perceive a situation can entirely change the way it is approached.
Beyond the life lessons Elliott’s grandfather imparted on him, the duo share a lot in common, including their interests and personalities. They both love fixing up cars, enjoy fishing, and share a similar taste in food. “Everything he ate, I ate. He was a big fan of onions and open-faced sandwiches and putting gravy in turkey—it’s delicious.” It is because of this long-lasting influence that Elliott so deeply values the childhood memory of fishing and talking.
In addition to spending time with family and loved ones, Elliott derives meaning from doing what he loves to do. “It’s not even necessarily the act of doing itself but just the knowledge that I’m doing what I love.”
Elliott also enjoys the simplicity of nature—moments when the sun overtakes the rain or hiking with his family and watching a coyote run past them. “I appreciate the world around me more. It’s moments like that where I’m like wow. We’re living in truly a special place on Earth.”
When Elliott is in nature, he feels free from problems and drama and everything he tries to avoid. “When I’m out fishing, there’s no one texting me about someone else. There’s no one bringing drama into my life. There are no daily issues. You don’t need your phone or electronics.” He views nature as an escape and center of peace, where he can focus’ on himself and his thoughts.
“You can forget it all. You can just be. You can just be present.”
Elliott considers the past, back before people had portable electronics. “People would find other things to do,” he notes. “It feels nice returning back to the basics—it just feels right.”
One other activity that makes him feel this way is card games, which he views as a form of bonding, both with strangers and friends. “Cards is something that brings people together and has brought people together for ages. Even in wars, people would play cards to come together and talk.”
Elliott has played cards most often with his family but sometimes to first get to know somebody. “Cards have been a big part of my life in that I can converse with people I don’t normally speak to—it gives us a common ground from which we can start meaningful and valuable conversations.”
He remarks that some people might say that “It’s just cards.” However, it’s more than that – “It’s actually about what these cards can start, like new relationships and new conversations.”
One more activity he loves is driving, especially when there’s an empty highway, where he can relish in the adrenaline of quicker speeds. “I don’t want to live as someone who fears life but as someone who takes risks here and there,” he says. “If you’re living life without taking risks, are you really living at all?”
Generally, Elliott finds merit in activities where he’s able to feel connected to the people and the world. When it comes to his loved ones, Elliott believes it’s important to show how he feels with his actions, not merely his words. “I find meaning in showing I love people through the way I act towards them.”
A major value Elliott lives by is respect: “Treat people with respect and earn respect.”
By treating everyone with kindness and respect, you create “bridges and pathways” in life, Elliott explains. “I don’t think there’s enough kindness in the world, so I figured I’d spread the kindness myself. Not only does it help society, but it helps me too.” Giving people the due kindness they deserve can lead to a reference or a good word, and you also never encounter problems where someone with influence can sway your hiring decision based on a negative interaction they had with you. Elliott emphasizes that now, such respect is lacking, especially in the realm of social media, where people brutally attack others.
He stresses that this disrespect is especially prevalent towards older people, who were raised in an earlier time with different morals and limited technology. “They had different ways of looking at life, and technology has come a long way since then too. They’re not dumb if they say something outdated.”
The elderly not only deserve equal respect, but younger generations can also still learn from them through meaningful conversations. “They’ve done their time on this earth. Just because we know more about new things and ideas doesn’t mean they don’t have quality advice. They don’t have to know everything, but they definitely know things that we as millennials don’t.”
Elliott also adds that this respect must extend to women as well—something similarly lacking in our society. “Women, as well, deserve just as much respect as guys do. As all people do.”
Furthermore, Elliott highlights the advantages of earning the respect of others. “I believe in building relationships with people and asking them questions. Say I’m starting a company, and my people want a leader they can look up to and believe in and trust—I want to be that person.” Elliott would want to know his employees on a personal level, to show them he cares. He would urge them to put in their maximum effort, and when they do, he’d give them praise for accomplishing something great. There is something special to be found in such encouragement – “This little praise helps them be more confident in themselves, which will show in the future, help the company, and reinforce your relationship. If you’re confident in them, they’ll be confident in you. And thus, perform outstandingly better.”
This idea was partially taught by a major influencing figure in Elliott’s upbringing—his wrestling coach. Wrestling taught him morals like respecting his opponents, earning his teammates’ respect, leading by example, and keeping emotions under control.
“The thing about wrestling is that it teaches you more than how to withstand pain and persist even when times are hard.” He learned how to take on adversity and loss. “Instead of viewing loss in a negative light—like oh, I lost the match or didn’t get the job—look at what you could have done differently, so that you can get the job and you can win the match.” Challenge allows us to develop our skills and personality to succeed in the future.
He concludes with the biggest message he learned from his coach that he still lives by to this day: “Loss is not a bad thing but an opportunity to grow.”
About Elliott
Student, aspiring engineer, math-driven, competitive, creative, loyal
Between the Lines 