“Vice is commerce.”
Mike, a guy who’s just trying to do the right thing, explains that vice does one of two things: gives you a hit of dopamine or distracts you from reality.
Though he can reflect on the nature of vice now, Mike hadn’t always been so objective. Over time, Mike has gotten rid of his identified vices — porn, alcohol, and video games. “No ifs, ands, or buts,” he clarifies in regard to explicit film, which was a massive problem. Now, he only engages in social drinking and doesn’t go out for the sole purpose of drinking. Video games have been reduced to a social activity too, and even so, he rarely plays.
A common misconception, he explains, is that people believe they must cut vices quickly and immediately, tackling them head-on. Rather, “The trick is to see what your life is lacking and work towards that.” This approach reveals why people turn towards vices in the first place, and by working towards goals, the vices naturally fade away.
As a compassionate individual, Mike always tries to do the right thing, even if it doesn’t serve his interest. He says, “You can either sulk in your vices and avoid the problems in your life, or you can will yourself to be better and start respecting yourself.”
This self-respect defines his self-worth — “I hold myself to a high standard in a lot of arbitrary ways.” He elaborates, “I choose to spend my time where I do because I respect myself. I do everything I do because I respect myself.”
However, by tying his value of self-respect to his self-worth, he inevitably encounters challenging days. When his will and discipline aren’t in line, the discrepancy creates a lack of self-worth.
Despite this push for discipline, Mike does allow himself time to get lost in the present. “There is one little moment I live for — the one where you’re just at peace. The moment is out of your control; it comes and goes at random.” At these times, life doesn’t necessarily need to be going well. It’s merely a moment where “you’re not thinking about anything except what’s around you.”
These moments of peace feel the most real, a notion Mike deeply cherishes. A quote that Mike keeps etched in the back of his mind stems from the movie Blade Runner 2049. Lieutenant Joshi states that “We’re all just looking for something real,” referencing the theme of what it means to be human.
Mike expresses that many people today put up a front for fear of ridicule or social ostracization, yet we all desperately crave genuine connection. Fear of vulnerability leaves us averse to opening up and developing bonds, but “at the end of the day, we all just want something real.” We just need to find those who will reciprocate this trust.
Surely enough, Mike was lucky to find someone with whom he can share such a relationship. He reveals, “I can’t say for sure that I’ve ever fallen in love.” Nevertheless, he’s now in a situation where he “can very well fall in love” in the wake of the strong emotions he has for his girlfriend.
“Is it love? I’m not sure. Do I want it to be? Without a doubt in my mind — yes.”
Mike only desires something that’s real, and the girl has shown she wants the same — something long-lasting to build upon. A gesture that stuck out to him is when the girl downloaded an app to learn Polish, his native language, to better communicate with his parents. This was done without his input or suggestion. Likewise, he downloaded the same app to learn Russian, which is what his girlfriend’s family speaks. He acknowledges that it’s the little thoughtful acts like these that demonstrate authenticity.
The label for his feelings doesn’t matter to him: “What matters is that it’s just me and my baby blue.”
About Mike
Just some guy who’s trying to do the right thing, man of science yet faithful to the most high, extreme planner, proud sadist, often described as overkill or extreme
Between the Lines 