“I do not think humans have a cosmic purpose. This may sound harsh, but I sincerely hope that when we die, everything about us disappears.”
Leah Porter, an analytical dreamer, believes that the humans who remain beyond our deaths can keep our memory alive.
That said, she fears the idea of an afterlife. “Eternity is intense, and the natural state of the universe is change.” Therefore, life’s purpose is “human-made and changeable.” Perhaps these thoughts serve as comfort, but as Leah says, “in the words of Gwen Stefani, ‘It’s my life.’”
Despite this grim – though realistic – view, Leah lives for the simple wonders of life, such as learning and nature.
Leah identifies as a proud nerd, but she feels that in her educational journey, she’s partially lost the creative free thought that drives her love for learning. She states that she lives for the moments where what she learns in college connects with the rest of her life (as college is now what she dedicates most of her time to). This is especially meaningful when she can draw connections between classes and learn fun facts that she can call home to share with her parents. “That’s good stuff right there. The little lightbulb in my head hasn’t completely burnt out.”
Beyond missing the purity of genuine learning, Leah longs for nature. “I thought I wouldn’t miss the little woods behind my house or hearing birdsong at night, but I really do. There’s a family of bunnies that live on a small grassy hill outside my dorm, and I audibly gasp whenever I see them.” When she’s having a rough day, Leah thinks of the joy she feels in their presence.
Amid her mild nihilism, Leah also derives meaning from art. “More and more, I’m realizing how much art means to me and connects to my sense of self.” She thoroughly enjoys watching and discussing movies: “I guess I’m a film bro,” she admits. Still, she feels grateful for a childhood with parents who dragged her to museums that she now visits for fun as an adult.
However, Leah expresses her concerns regarding art: “I do worry because I don’t ever want to use art to contribute to a sense of superiority. I dislike elitism in the art world—art should be as accessible as possible.”
She adds, “If I could make the art that inspires me accessible to others, that would be a good life.”
Leah may be grappling with many of life’s big questions — the meaning of life, human purpose, the accessibility of art to those who need it most — but she’s experienced personal challenges as well.
Having struggled with a self-consciousness issue for most of her life, Leah has recently worked to overcome this obstacle. “Looking back, I realize how much less stress and discomfort I could’ve felt if I just let myself have fun, relax, and not live up to people’s real or imagined expectations.”
Between Leah’s valuable initiatives, she has learned to take life’s moments less seriously. “Make noise in public! Don’t take things so personally!” She explains, “I fixate too much on the opinions of others, even strangers. So, the problem is with me. Yay! Still, I’m grateful that the solution could be too. I’ll let you know if I find it.”
Leah has spent her life abiding to a quote by Joan Rivers, “of all people.” Rivers once said, “Listen. I wish I could tell you it gets better. But it doesn’t get better. You get better.” This statement struck Leah as “so truthful and real and entirely not what I expected to hear on an episode of Fashion Police (really).”
Often lost in her thoughts, Leah is “prone to fantasizing about the future and the imagined end where the life I’ve created in my head becomes reality.”
Yet this quote reminds her that “the bullshit is real, and it’s not going away.” After all, things happen; life goes on.
It’s a given, then, that Leah finds “realism much more reassuring than faux optimism.” And so, cue view on human purpose.
About Leah
Lover of people, places, things, and bad jokes; analytical dreamer; alternate reality maker; spontaneous planner; solitude enthusiast; neither here nor there
Between the Lines 