“My mom was in the hospital my sophomore year of high school.”
Tina was walking onto the bus when she got a text or call from her mom saying they are on their way to the hospital but that Tina’s dad would be back home soon.
Tina was confused the rest of the day. When she searched for something to eat, all she could find in the pantry was microwaveable rice—the only food she could then find comforting. Only around 11pm that night did she finally receive an update. Her dad came home before leaving to return to the hospital again, briefly explaining that Tina’s mom was going into surgery.
Then she was left alone once more.
“It was supposedly fine, but it wasn’t. It was just a lot, you know? I didn’t know what was going on.” Everything felt like a haze.
That night, she was woken up again at 1am—the surgery went fine. The next day, Tina still went to school. “But it just felt like something was off. It didn’t feel right—didn’t sit right with me. She was still in the hospital. I hadn’t heard anything from her in 24 hours.”
Tina broke down in school, but she despises crying in front of people, and it felt overwhelming. “I didn’t want people to feel pity for me.” It seemed like everyone was watching her, wondering why she was crying.
The rest of the experience was difficult—staggeringly emotional to the point of feeling numbing. Tina felt a sense of dissociation: “I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t experiencing everything that I was experiencing. I was just kind of watching myself, if that makes sense.”
But Tina remained resilient, learning the importance of overcoming hardship and maintaining an optimistic mindset.
“It taught me how you need to just pull through in life. I still went to school. I still tried hard.” She didn’t want to be affected, so she coped by continuing on with life. That said, she admits her approach—pretending nothing was wrong—was not necessarily the healthiest coping mechanism. Through the incident, Tina learned more about herself and the way in which she deals with life’s obstacles.
The hospital visits continued for a while. Later, her mom returned to the hospital, and her dad went to the hospital too. “I’m still scared whenever that happens,” Tina confides. “And whenever that does happen, I just try to push through it.”
She vividly recalls the time her dad stayed in the emergency room. Once home with her mom, Tina immediately began doing what her dad would have normally done, like preparing the ice tray when they ran out and restocking the soda in their fridge. Tina just kept on keeping on.
Despite the lows in life, Tina retains faith in the moments of life when she’s at peak happiness. She provides an example of such times: “Concerts are fun—they’re one of my peaks. I’m always happy. Nothing seems wrong.”
Tina is often happiest in the summer. She enjoys days at the shore and good nights with her friends, going on rides.
She also appreciates time spent with her family: “St. Patrick’s Day was a blast, and I love when my mom-mom comes over for dinner. Little moments like that.”
Recently, Tina was accepted to college, and it flooded her with happiness.
It’s moments like these—those of pure joy—that Tina feels most like herself.
About Tina
Thinker, big fan of 5 Seconds of Summer, concert enthusiast, lover of summer, biggest extrovert and chatterbox you’ll ever meet, traveler’s soul, once got a turkey in bowling
Between the Lines 